“Treat all others as you would like to be treated yourself.”
The Golden Rule has proved its excellence as a moral guide since ancient times. Greek and Jewish thinkers, Confucius, Jesus, and other teachers of ethics all taught this rule, which is called “golden” to indicate its revered place as the ultimate rule of life. What better teaching can we utilize in our day-to-day approach to parenting? A variation of the Golden Rule for parents would be “Treat your child as you would like to be treated if you were in the same position.”
It might be illuminating to apply this “Parenting Golden Rule” to several common methods of discipline, by considering the case of a husband and wife in the “same position” as that of children being disciplined in various ways.
1. Physical punishment
The wife accidentally spills coffee on her husband’s new jacket. He hits her.
Will the wife be more careful with his belongings in the future? Or might she have him arrested for spousal abuse?
2. Time-out
The husband starts to argue with a visiting friend. The wife tells him “It’s not nice to argue with your friend! I won’t have this! Go sit in the bedroom for half an hour!”
Will the husband become less argumentative? Will the embarrassment of the situation set him straight? Will he feel like apologizing to his friend?
3. Consequences
The wife is out driving, forgets to fill the tank, and runs out of gas. She phones her husband to ask him to take his car to buy some gas and bring it to her. He refuses, explaining that she has to learn from “natural consequences” to be more responsible.
The next time the tank is low, will the wife remember to get it filled? Or will she be too preoccupied with fantasies of divorce to think about less important matters like car maintenance?
