We love our kids, but parenting them is a complex and often confusing task! To simplify things, it’s helpful to understand that we can reduce the job of parenting to one guiding principle: to equip our children to meet the demands of reality. Boundaries with kids can be difficult to set, but ultimately they are necessary.
One day your children will need to face reality and handle it without your guidance. On their own, they will need to make mature choices to follow Christ; find great relationships to support their growth; set their core values and morals; handle romance, dating, marriage and family paths; and craft their passions and career.
In other words, God’s plans for parenting are designed to take a small person, who is helpless and dependent, and over time, produce an adult who can make great choices and decisions: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it”
How Boundaries with Kids Help
A Sense of Self
Kids need to know that their thoughts, feelings and choices are theirs, so they can take responsibility for them. They flourish when they can know where they end and others, including parents, begin. This allows them to guard and take ownership over their lives: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23). That is why over-compliant children, whose only concern is pleasing their parents, often struggle greatly in their adult relationships. Help your kids have their own minds, even though they must also obey and follow the house rules.
Self-control
Children are by nature impulsive and controlled by their whims. If you’ve ever taken your kid to a mall and given them lots of sugar, you have experienced this. Parents who help their kids have boundaries also teach them to control their impulses and focus on what needs to be done, such as homework and chores. This is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23) and will help them the rest of their lives.
Great Relationships
Children need to know how to make friends with the right kinds of kids and to say no to the wrong kinds of kids. Boundaries help them know how to play appropriately, instead of intruding on others’ space. They also help them say no to those wrong kinds of kids and habits that aren’t good for them.
How to Set Healthy Boundaries with Kids
