The developmental tasks most important to children change as they mature. For example, an important developmental issue for an infant is attachment, whereas a salient task for a toddler is individuation.
Parenting is at its greatest level of intensity during infancy and toddlerhood. In the first few years of life, children depend entirely on their caregivers, who determine most of the children’s experiences. Caregivers decide, for example, whether an infant is held, talked to, or ignored and in what kinds of activities the toddler will engage. Because of the enormous flexibility of the human nervous system during the early years, this period offers unparalleled opportunities for learning and development, which are best supported by an enriched but not pressured environment. Further, although some theorists argue that later experiences can completely alter children’s developmental pathways, many assert that the experiences over the first few years of life lay the foundation on which the rest of development builds. Like compounding interest, the investment that warm, engaged, and sensitive caregivers make during the early years pays huge dividends toward a secure, self-confident child.
In the first few months of life, parenting focuses on the provision of basic care, ideally from a warm and responsive caregiver. The caregiver’s sensitivity to the child’s cues helps the child learn basic regulation and predicts the security of the child’s attachment to the caregiver, which becomes organized toward the end of the first year. In the second year of life, the utterly dependent infant becomes the passionately autonomous toddler, inviting increasing opportunities for discipline. Early and middle childhood bring new challenges as children move farther out into the world. School adjustment and peer relationships become central, and here too children benefit from parents who are involved and supportive.
Adolescence, once characterized as a time of “storm and stress,” is now viewed as a period of dynamic change but one that most children (75–80 percent) navigate successfully. This period was once also characterized by a severing of ties between parents and their children. Contemporary studies, however, show that adolescents benefit from maintaining close and connected relationships with their parents even as they move toward greater independence. The American psychiatrist Lynn Ponton, a specialist in adolescent development, noted that risk taking is a normal part of the important exploration in which teens engage. Parents play a critical role by encouraging their children to take positive risks, such as trying out for a sports team, running for a position in student government, or working on a special project. Adolescents engaged in challenging but positive endeavours are less likely to be drawn to negative risk taking, such as alcohol and drug use.
